Webster’s Dictionary defines the word “active” as “characterized by action rather than by contemplation or speculation.”
This period of quarantine during this pandemic has taught me many valuable lessons, but none more important than the recognition of the value that I place on people being active in my life. I have given much thought to the traits that allow me to feel closer to some people than others – loyalty, honesty, kindness, and generosity – just to name a few. Yet if I had to encapsulate what I value in friends more than anything else, it can be found in this one simple idea: I want them to be active.
Instead, I find that most people are just “available.” Admittedly, availability has its place. If I am headed to the movies and would like to share the experience with another person, it is nice to call and find that someone is available to join me. If I need a second opinion or want to share an accomplishment, I am thankful for those who will avail themselves and offer a listening ear. There are some who define friendship through this lens. To them, friends are those who can be found in times of need and conjured at moments when we can’t get through a challenge on our own.
But as much as I appreciate the apparent thoughtfulness of these acquaintances, my heart’s attention is captured by those who play an active role. They are not just available when called upon; they are characterized by action. Instead of waiting for my call when I am in need, they check on me when they have not heard from me in a while. Instead of simply liking a post about my business on social media, they share it with others because my success is OUR success. Greater than springing into action when signaled, they are vigilant, purposeful guardians of our relationship. And in these times when life seems upside down and just being around others becomes a danger, their deliberate expressions of compassion and care have been key reasons for my steadiness during such uncertainty.
Please don’t get me wrong. I am not naïve enough to think that anyone owes me this type of dedication. Everyone is making their way through the twin pandemics of the coronavirus and systemic racism in our country as best they can, and many do not have the capacity to extend their circle of care anywhere past themselves. To those who are struggling to feel safe as you fear threats from pestilence and police officers alike, I pray that you find the peace of mind that you need to stay in the fight.
But when our country chooses a word to identify those who are seeking to effect change for the betterment of our nation, they use the word “activist,” not “availablist.” Those who are intentional in their actions, whether marching to reinforce the obvious point that Black lives matter as much as any other lives in our country or encouraging others to wear masks to stop the raging virus that is running rampant throughout the land, make an effective difference in lasting ways.
So, to those who have been available, I look forward to catching up on Zoom or grabbing socially distant hot chocolate when I next reach out to you. But those who have been active, today and always, you have my sincere thanks. If I appear strong to the students, families, and congregants that I am so honored to serve, it is often because I am standing on your shoulders.
* If you are thankful for someone playing an active role in your life, please take a moment to let them know that you’ve noticed and it matters.
